March 12th, 2007

Catching up

I look at myself and see a pile of disorganized crap ready to be flushed back to the stoneage. There are alot of things I haven't got the courage,the dedication and simply the responsibility to do so,I'm really tired at the things happening around me,there are too many times I feel neglected and dissapointed at the things people failed to achieve for me.At first,I thought it was a good idea to love Andy Lim,indeed it was,until I met his mother. [+56 Shock]

Honestly I regret loving Andy,as far as I know,the 1 year and 3 months has been really hectic for us,we never got the chance to see each other,and we almost broke up because of it,sometimes I even think we got some bad juju brewing inside of me.No matter how hard we tries to plan it,it always ends up deep inside a Punji pit. I've provided everything necessary,shelter,food and even some presents for her mom to ease her concerns,but it all fails,his mom refuses to let her son take a 40 bucks train ride to KL and have three days of fun. But something as simple as that cannot work. Furthermore chances like this hardly comes around. [+10 Dissapointment]

I've been given advices from a counsellor of mine,she told me that it was best to solve things that are tiny before it can reach out and expand till it's the size of the universe,ready to gowb me anytime and it will soon. [+25 Worries]

I really miss my friends who are frequently on Yahoo,MSN and AIM,nowadays I never seen them at all,I do miss them but sometimes I feel like after we get together,there's not alot things to talk about and we again become stranger like our first meet.It's seriously a heartbreaking moment to see this,something we really work hard for in the past,trying to gain each other's trust and confidence,putting our shoulders together to work for a better relationship and it all breaks down now. It's so far away from that goal,it seems like it was the Thirty Year's War now,so far behind and no more personal experiences on it,only the history passed down by words. [+20 Sadness and Loneliness]

Whatever sort of things that I tried to fight for which is good in any way,people tend to overlook it and strike me down hard on the ground because they figure that it's really wrong,in short,anything that is good is bad and vice versa.I defended a friend from a senseless,immoral and completely idiotic verbal abuse,I defended him to the depths of hell itself,but I get no thanks,no assistance and no moral support,I got struck down badly,I was shunned,I was ignored,I was cursed. [+55 Loneliness] [1/4 Life Broken]

 I hardly read anything nowadays,I never catch up on my vocabulary and in fact,I've beginning to just sink back into my old self.My old illiterate self. Immaturity can rise any seconds cause of that.I guess I just got to catch up on the reading and learning. [+3.5 Redneck Syndrome]

Everywhere I see,I tend to see someone I hate on the internet,and he's spreading his presence almost everywhere,everyone and everything. I remember I told myself to ignore him,to calm down or to negotiate peace with this fellow. But alas, he had issues,indeed he had some,it was never little, and it will never end until he manages to realize the error of his ways. I lost hope in humanity really,someone could just prefer people who knows how to draw like Leonardo Da Vinci over his personality. Emo,what a dirty trend. [+1 Enemy] [+50% Lost Faith in Humanity]


Gone were the days.Tired I am.

------------

This is a cat with alot of fat,
He woke up from the mat,
and he's been sleeping like a bat,
Now he's asking for a pat!

Mom fed the cat some qat,
Now he's off to meet the rat,
After waiting in the hat,
He finally got some chat!
(And the cat is a democrat!)
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