December 31st, 2006

Move on,Bobby.

2006 is definately not one of my best years.I doubt 2007 can be better.

Everyone's moving on with their lives now,everyone,people whom I know and care,I've been growing isolated and I feel I should follow the people I love like a puppy.Everyone is already packing up and going for a better life,I wish to be part of it,to change and to lead a life that I wanted it to be.

I really want to move out to a place of my own,to enjoy college life since it's far off better than secondary school,I really want to be alone in a quiet old apartment somewhere in the suburbs of England or in Germany....anywhere but here,anywhere but my family,anywhere but my current life,I want to be far off from that but I can't.I couldn't,it's not that I don't want to but it's just I can't,I'm going to face another year of torture,more suffering than the other since it's SPM,I'm going to be as stress as Thomas Edison in a henhouse.

Moving on,they told me to move on,2007 is going to be a better year.Gentlemen,ladies,homosexuals and transexuals,cowboys and Hugh Laurie fanbois,understand me this,within that school wall is hell,hell on Earth,hell within hell itself,even Dante might shock himself upon it's discovery.I believe no one,I mean not a single soul from Bukit Bandaraya is going to read this,so I shall say it here.

You. All. Suck.

3 words,simple and efficient.Never in my life I've seen such disgrace to humanity,even Saddam can be a better person within that walls than the students there.I really had to deal with hypocrites,I had to deal with idiocy and republicans,I had to deal with drama queens and kings,I had to deal with liars,cheaters and godforsaken homophobes,I had to deal with emo fucks and punks who thinks they're fashion queen/kings while they're goddamn whoring themselves up.Why is it that every chance,to make friends becomes a chance to make enemies.They're not human beings,I tell you.They are not.

I suffered enough,leave me alone,just do it,for the sake of your religion,for the sake of your God,stop this senseless torture to me.

However,not all is just in or about school and it's demonic inhabitants.

To this day here,I cannot define what is the relationship between me and Andy,they call it online dating,or cyber-love,sorta.It's going to be a year in 3 days.My life's going really tough this year,and he's just can't try any harder to ease my burden,unfortunately,he's just making it worse,I am no more Dobb nor Bobby here,I feel like I'm no longer exists as a whole.We do not have sex life,we do not have hugs nor kisses unless it is written and type online or on the phone saying it.I'm more than tired to go online at 3-4pm,sitting in front of the PC,chatting till late night at 5-6am.I'm wasting my time I think,I should've go to the mall with him,window shopping,coughing up some cash to sit around DeliFrance drinking some Espresso and enjoying it.I can never done that,you see,I can never,unless it's in 2008.Why can't I just have it now?I'm wasting my time,2 years so that I just enjoy going to the mall when I can already plan to live oversea with him and getting ourselves stable economy and living happily ever after.Something I had to wait.

Everyone's moving on now.They all are going to better places,got a better life.As for me,another year....another year of hell,with extra test (SPM) on the side like potatoes.

Mmm..potatoes....

Still...
I'm not okay.

Another year...2007,last year in secondary school.I hope it goes well.

And he's drunk......a drunkard as a father..how could that be good?
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