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06 August 2007 @ 04:30 am
Almost...  
"I almost got drunk at school at 14,Where I almost made out with the Homecoming Queen... Almost Had You..."

Almost a month, almost time for me to face the fact that I should start to sober up like the judge in Nuremberg Trials, almost make my peace with the Kaiser and yada-yada bang. I can say I discover this song through Abel G. ,miss the bloke, nice song really, awesome beat and funny video too.

    What am I kidding, I can't believe I lost my touch, of all things, I lost my grasp in English. Not to mention verbal speech, I can't talk straight without me gabbling all of a sudden to find that word to connect the sentence,I can't even type fast as usual, something's gone seriously fuck up in me. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING STRAIGHT! If I recall correctly, it happened right after that sodding competition, that Edusmith crap, at first, I thought it was a pretty awesome challenge to me,you know, a chance to show my English prowess to all these losers, I guess I was wrong, after some...unexplainable mishap happen during the contest, I sorta lost total confidence within me, I was in total shambles for like, a few days or so. I tried to talk to myself about it, I tried to snap it out of it, I tried lots of things and it doesn't work, my English vocabulary suddenly stops and delete itself word by word, my Grammar and comprehension of language is going downhill, I talk like an idiot, hell, I flunk my presentation and I swear to God people hated me more because I squawk like a crow swallowing a piece of pebble. No seriously, I am losing my touch. I lost myself too...

    There are so many things I could've accomplish these days, getting abit of studying, get some work done, organize my life and all that stuff. I can't say what's wrong with me, I'm not bleeding psychiatrist. But any pompous idiot will figure out there IS something wrong, it's just that I feel discussing it with a highly-paid professional who's working on the hi-life oughta help me solve this sodding piece of crap up pronto. Then again, I don't have the cash nor contact so I try to bear it myself. English comprehension,right. Anyone can write an essay,right? Sure,anyone can write "Once upon a time, there was a lovely little sausage called `Baldrick', and it lived happily ever after.". But the greatest essay, has to be just perfect with the amount of attraction to the reader, enough smart vocab to fool the simpleton and not to mention the linguistic beauty and total control over the flow of sophisticated grammar. In short, it's gotta be nice.

The night before the contest, I already prepared a set of cunning answers which I will just copy-pasta over like a rasta on a gasta (Whatever) during the contest. It was simply the best set of essay I probably ever wrote since Dr. Samuel Johnson wrote the Dictionary. Then again, I forgot about the rule that dictates nobody should under any circumstances use any reference during the contest. Fuck. I guess I was totally depress for a few days as I recall, hell, I even stop talking to a few people and begin to cocoon myself so that I feel comfortable knowing that I still feel superior in my own intellect. What am I talking about, I always hate losing a contest that I know I can win, this is so pathetic I know but it's just something that occurs to me, I never won anything or get pass semi-finals...

--Fast Forward--

    Here I am,still listening to the song and trying hard to concentrate my train of thoughts before I start to smack myself on the forehead to remember those words. I went to German class yesterday, it felt strange without Oliver around, in fact, I now understand how it feels like losing a friend and forcing you to stay in a stranger's house without contact to outer realm whatsoever. Then again, I discovered that not all things are bad, I sorta become abit more hardworking, I stayed inside during recess and fiddling about with my work (And eying on that cute devil). Speaking of work, Chris was there too,as always, my eyes were just totally glued to his perfect face, no matter how many times,millions,billions even a kazillion times I still won't forget that face, I do hope he doesn't read blogs; then again,if he does, it'll be a roller coaster ride ensues. Continue, examinations start around on Wednesday, curse you social-bureaucratic administrative of the highly unpopular government-controlled single-action elitist educational establishment! Curse ye to Dante's Inferno! GO FOR THE ANTI-DISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM!

    That is just a totally incomprehensive and chaotic rant. Whatever it is, I guess I can blame it all on the 5am sleepiness-rage.
 
 
My Mood: sadsad
My Music: Almost - Bowling For Soup